Tuesday, August 08, 2006

By way...

... of a tale of silence, this is my story.

Now, it didn't take me over four weeks from getting to Coorg to start my vacation. It would then proceed that it can't possibly take me that much time to tell the tale either. Why then, sweet Christ, the unbearable daftness of being? Of all the loads of crock that I can give both myself and you, there seem to me only three that really count.

Firstly, the processing lab has consistently screwed up the negative scans an astounding THREE times in a row. Logically, this is hardly credible because these guys are among the best in Bombay and they've not bungled a single roll thus far. This time, when the scan is perfect, the image dimensions make a exquisite image look repulsive. When the scan is out, then I want to disown the image anyway! Pray for me - I gave all six rolls back to the lab yesterday.

Secondly, my mum was operated on for multiple fractures a few weeks ago. I suppose championship is genetic because only my mum could have slipped down two stairs (not flights) and ended up with multiple fractures and a dislocation! She is now recuperating nicely, but for me, juggling between work and home is not easy. I must admit, this is more arduous as a 26 year-old working person than as a student.

Thirdly, I've been trying to figure out if I should shut down E Vestigio. I have come to doubt myself and my abilities. Words are more and more punishing to whisper into creation; baring myself more difficult than ever; and the need to be rather than become more desperate than I've ever known. For days, I'd be making notes on one draft after another, unable to complete any one. My endurance and adaptabilty are not what they used to be, I fear.

I should add that these reasons are in no order of priority — simply because, for me, they've been the Brazilian, the lesbian, and the socialite.

I am back, I think. I won't stop blogging but I don't want to proclaim non-dereliction of my duties this post onward either. I don't know where/how the next few months will go. Nor do I know how often I'll be able to post. Ergo, I will hold my peace. The Lord knows I've made too many post, mail, and phone call promises to make a single more.

Before I go, my thanks are due in no small measure to a certain tyrannical friend/reviewer who, for over a month, danced bloody hell on my head. Swore up a storm at me too! Verily, I doubt this would have been posted if not for him. :-)


Parth said...

Best wishes for a speedy recovery to your mom. Keep the writing coming. Its tough to keep up, but there's nothing better than a satisfying blog post you achieve at the end of the struggle.

Geetanjali said...

Welcome Back :-) hope you post regularly henceforth or I shall turn tyrannical instead of all cow!!!

Anonymous said...

i was holding my breath, you see.

lakesidey said...

She's baaaaaaaack!!

mErCuRiAn said...

Hey Wax,

Nice to see a post after so long on E Vestigio. Wishing your mom a speedy recovery.


Casablanca said...

and the need to be rather than become more desperate than I've ever known

You echo me there! And yes, post at your own time, and your own pace. Dont post for others, post.. for yourself.

Extempore said...

@Parth: Thanks very much for your wishes. I know what you mean. I pressed that Publish Post button and felt most happy with my life! :)

@Geets: Thanks, love! Will most certainly attempt to post regularly. Pray for me, won't you - because with you turning tyrant, I'm going to need it!

@Nocturne: Well, somewhat, at least. :)

@Lakesidey: Thank you, old man!

@Mecurian: Thanks! I could say the same about you - where's chapter 4 then? Hurry up and post it, no? :)

@Casa: Thank you, sweets! It's among the many things I've decided to do for myself now. :)

Prerona said...

hope ur mom is better soon and hope u dont stop posting! we will miss reading ur posts :(

Golds said...

Does anyone read my blog anymore?

I've often wondered if I'm simply talking to myself.

I'm having Dal and rice for lunch today and will be serving it around 1 p.m. so I can get back to work and fnish this job with a full meal behind me. Lunch will be whatever I can find in the kitchen.

I'm sure I'll find more to do as the day goes on.

As the words make their journey from left to right, each trying to say something pertinent of ourselves, suddenly I find myself on the page's edge...so hard to write the words that want to be heard. So easy to keep the edges clean. Happens to all of us :-)

Though I must admit I'm not as regular at your site as your more eloquent fellow bloggers, I must say it would be a shame for you to shut down the Blog. You do have a lot of people who love and appreciate the things you do and I'm sure all would agree that we would look forward to your next post.Whenever you are ready.

My love and best wishes to your mum wish her a speedy recovery. Will come by as soon as I can.

You are lucky that the big name boys only screwed up the scans of the negatives. They actually lost three of my rolls.

Cheers and Keep 'em coming.

Wild Reeds said...

Hey. Get-well-soon wishes to your mum.