Sunday, June 14, 2009

Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi...

I want to laugh like I've never laughed before.
I want to go for a long drive, in the middle of the night, in the pouring rain. I want to describe the majesty and the grace of Mehrangarh with my camera and with my verbal fumbling. I want to stop wondering if my decisions three years ago could have made things different... in a sense, less complicated. I want a two-day weekend — I want my Saturdays back. I want to show you the peace of walking on Ashwem with my soul sister, hoping that these ten solitary minutes will last me until November. I want to sit in a breezy living room in sultry Hyderabad demolishing a tub of ice cream and laughing like... sometimes, I fear, never again. I want to stop feeling like I'm choking. I want the greatest of all professional pleasures — surfing the internet on company time. I want to walk down the B "quaters", into the A quaters and then finally out through the beautiful path down to Ladies Hostel 1. I want to be smack in the eye of an intercollegiate festival. I want the ex-boss to take the ex-reviewer, me, and some bottles of beer three quarters of the way to Nashik. I want to stop wondering what cool is. I want a random man in the Madras flower market to demand that I take his photograph. I want to exchange looks with the girls as the DJ dedicates a song to the Click Clicks instead of the Lit Clit. I want to chat with Gerzgal until the wee hours of the morning. I want to sit at Brittos in the tepid winter sun, pontificating about how, in the winter, the sun in Delhi and Goa is so different. I want to do more than just 1-2, 1-2 on the ordering system. I want to spend four days in bed reading. I want a bowl of cornflakes with hot milk but so much more than that I want a cup of Milo in the ex-reviewer's cup. I want the camaraderie, love and oneness of Room No 6. I want to believe in the goodness of the Project Director from my old company - it hurt so much that he was just any other corporate arsehole. I want to watch Pirates of the Caribbean - The Black Pearl with A, eating the dinner he's just cooked me. I want a weekend in Udwada with the boys, making fun of each other only the way boys can. I want to spend 3 days in Fort Kochi and 3 days in Munnar a few weeks after the rains have abated. I want to talk about all the new books that give me such hope for publishing in India. I want to be woken up at 5 am to be told the stories of a budding romance. I want my dream to stop taunting me. I want to spend three hours dressing up for a 21st birthday party. I want to take smiling photographs in the Nalla Park in Pune. I want to wake up in a Portuguese villa in South Goa while the rain comes gently down. I want a breakfast of beef roast sandwiches and dessert wine in Aarey Milk Colony in the dewey dampness of the oncoming rains. I want to stop avoiding the confrontations of the past that will come only in the future. I want the winter to bring me to Pune again. I want to be pompous and superior with the elder sibling. I want to sit in a balcony and smoke a cigarette while the evening deepens around me. I want to spend one perfect day — exactly the way I described it to Mota Seth. I want to tell you about my love affair with wine. I want to spend a week in Agonda and Palolem.
I want to laugh like I've never laughed before.

... ke har khwaish pe dum nikle.

11 comments:

rads said...

aw, I wish you get to do all these and more :)

Extempore said...

@Rads: Thanks - even a few will do right now!

Gerzgal said...

It's funny that you said that you want your dream to stop taunting you. That's what awoke me today - it's currently 5:12 AM right now - and I came online because I thought I might catch you. I have this lovely post to read instead.

I want all of these things for you, E - every bit. And if I could give you some of these, I would. :)

Gerzgal said...

Ah, silly me - you must be at work...

Parth said...

That's a wishlist to cherish :)

Plain Jane said...

:)I want you not to wait for winter to bring you back to Pune!

Nocturne said...

remember when you laughed like never before? when you went for that long drive in the pouring rain...?

my khawaish for you would be for each day to unlock a fresh pearl, a new treasure - and next year, may this list be twice the length and triple the preciousness.

Extempore said...

@Gerzgal: Well, I'll catch up with you until the wee hours one day rather soon. My apologies for running away that day - I was on a call for way too long and by the time I came back, gtalk just wouldn't bloody connect! :-(

@Parth: Thank you, sir. Working 23 days straight will make you cherish that you miss. I forgot to add one wish though - I want to Parth to send me little Parth photos. :-)

@Plain Jane: No, love, the monsoon will bring me to Pune before that!

@Nocturne: Thank you, dearest. *hugs*

Blue Athena said...

Inshaallah!

How you been? All good?

Anonymous said...

like siddharth told me last week, 'kisi ko bhi mukammal jahan nahi milta'...

-kunal.

Ms.Mephistopheles said...

you just made ma want so many things :)