Thursday, September 01, 2005

Beginning to Sort Through

I must excuse myself for being AWOL like this. I spent last week in my other home city, Hyderabad. And as it has been for four years now, I did not merely travel the 736 kilometres to Hyderabad. To say anything further along these lines would be trite and unnecessary and hence, I will begin to get to the point. :-)

The last time I left, I came back to Bombay and started E Vestigio. I thought going back would either reinforce what I had experienced the last time or prove me wrong altogether.

Neither one of these happened. And I am still not sure what happened precisely.

I know that this was an important trip. I recognize that I made my peace with some matters and picked up new fights with others; that there are things that died and were buried in the backyard of my soul; I know that I gained some new perspectives (though nothing earth shattering, I am afraid!) about people - who they are, where they come from, and why they treat one in certain ways. I also found out that consistent behaviour, especially of the good sort, is singularly lacking in most people, including myself.

But this isn't all I learned. Along with some other curious revelations about myself—the subject of subsequent posts, I believe—I discovered that in some matters, I am now able to commute from experience to expression quicker and with far more objectivity than usual.

I cannot seem to make sense of this discovery – though a plausible answer would be welcome – because I do not know which direction to work in. I cannot even seem to gauge if this has affected me for the better. And as usual, I may well be making a mountain of a miniscule molehill. For now, I am content with accepting this as a natural progression of the way of things are… whatever things may be.

I feel like these photographs. They are of a lake ahead of a town called Dhaund in southern Maharashtra. Weeds and other plants that live in water are bursting out and it is twilight. With the heavy rain we've had in the state, this erstwhile "pretty ditch" would have become a ripe photo op, had the train decided to be nice and wait while I took some pictures! Hence, you're not quite sure what is happening in the photograph, why there seem to be superimposed ghost images. Or you're not quite sure if you think the images are plain ugly.

Well, welcome to my mind right now! I do hope you enjoy the mess.


the cowlick said...

I think we put too much into small incidents in our lives.. especially journeys into a place we've left behind.. we wish to come to definite conclusions and revelations.. but if only life was this simple! It sometimes takes months and years to discover what we've really learned with such visits to the past. Sometimes we just learn nothing at all.. sometimes we even end up losing more than we did when we originally came away. Answers to life are not instant.. it takes a lifetime to discover them, and sometimes, not even that.

luz de la luna said...

I love those photographs.

Such an ethereal beauty. Blue ghosts dance and whirl about the sand.

- Martin

Anonymous said...

There is something very spiritual about these photographs. A feeling of being there... between two worlds.

Perhaps life has a way to shows us exactly what we are looking for. :-)

lakesidey said...

You're weird....but we love you all the same :P

Was on the verge of calling up and bawling you out for not posting :D Stuck out here as I am, blogs are almost the only things I have to look forward to.....

. : A : . said...

"I am now able to commute from experience to expression quicker and with far more objectivity than usual."

I know eactly what you mean. It all comes with practice.


The pics are almost like watercolour paintings here. Nice.

SaidBack said...

I'm all fired up and ready to spew gyaan...but not yet.

Good one. I liked the pics.. the ghost effect.

Extempore said...

The Cowlick: I agree, but this time I did come to some conclusions and revelations. I don't think that they are definite - I've had the chance to retract every claim I have ever made to "being" anything, roughly three months later!

I don't think this was about any definite answers but about going a little further on a road I've already started down. Sometimes you like the way you're walking and sometimes you don't. :)

@Luz de la Luna: Martin, coming from a photographer as good as you, thanks!

@.:A:. : Its a wonder, A, just what you could get used to with a little practice! :)

@Pepper: Thanks, Majesty - am glad you thought it was a good one. I wasnt sure until I finally posted.

@Lakesidey: Remind me to kick you, old friend. I have been trying you for the longest time but your phone is always off during the day and I forget at night. Call me when you can. *hug*

@Anon: Thanks - for understanding, for being there and for holding my hand through this journey between two worlds. :)

isis said...

Photography, as a hobby, did not have much of a grip on me. But looking thru this post, I am coming to realize that a picture along with a well-written piece doubles the impact and meaning, than either on their own.
These photos are surreal. I don't know what Dhaund means in Marathi, but its coincidental phonetic similarity to Dhund, "fog", is also appropriate.